With direct flights from UK to USA in short supply post-covid, we launched our tour of the SW States in Houston, Texas. On arrival it was tempting to say “… we have a problem!” as 37C isn’t exactly conducive to climbing. We never really expected to get much done on the outbound leg through the lone-star state (hoping to make up for it on the way home), but these temperatures were looking likely to kibosh even a YECTOYD.

Happily, the ever-reliable Mountain Project came up with a solution: Monster Rock about half an hour north of Austin. Eastern Texas is big and dull (from a driving perspective) with endless flat scrubland, peppered with the ubiquitous nodding-donkey oil wells interspersed with the very occasional wind turbine. Pace Bend State Park is a pleasant oasis in amongst this, with a great riverside campground and one of the more unusual crags I’ve ever encountered.

Looking at the pin on the map, Monster Rock looked to be located in a band of posh houses sandwiched between the main road and the river. A bit more web research turned up the street address of the designated parking area: No 2208 (owned, as is the crag, by the Texas Climbers Coalition, with the support of the Access Fund), and sure enough, there it is! Here are the GPS coordinates to save you the struggle. 30.393000° N 98.069725° W

Result – we could even squeeze our giant Winnebago into a space!

From here it’s just a couple of hundred metres along a manicured trail, crossing a steel footbridge, at which point everything starts to make sense – the bulk of the climbing is in a narrow slot beneath the bridge.

A couple of metal ladders complete the descent into the underworld, and whilst it wouldn’t be anyone’s idea of a 3* crag, the perma-shade and cooling breeze combine to render the ambient high 30s temperature almost tolerable. The routes max out at around 50ft, on featured pockety and sometimes polished limestone, and are very well bolted. The route names on the opposing JRR Tolkien and Horror Movie Walls are almost worth the trip in their own right. To give you a flavour, we did: Green Slime vs Bag of Devouring, 10b, Seven Gorgons Breathing, 11a, Krakens Deadly Dance at Sea, 5.8, Sky Full of Dementors, 5.9+ and Goblin Mutant, 11a.

We shared the wall with four friendly young locals from Austin (it would be cramped if busy) who were a year into their outdoor climbing careers – boundless enthusiasm matched by acknowledged nativity. Who knows what they made of a pair of gnarly Brits rocking up in a huge RV, but they were very polite and welcoming, if a bit surprised that we declined their kind offer of a top rope on a 5.8 to warm up on a 10b instead. Here’s one of the team sieging Green Slime…

Back on the road to NM we overnighted at a charming City Park in Lamesa, free to visitors (including electric hookup!) and took in a nature trail in a wildlife refuge near Roswell (the UFO capital of America) before finally arriving at the first stop proper of the trip: Comales Canyon, about an hour south of Taos.

There are a couple of idyllic National Forest campgrounds in the valley, one of which is only a couple of hundred metres from the start of the crag approach. About half a mile up the side valley, criss-crossing a tiny stream, you can spot Fire Wall up on the left, and a cairn and a well-constructed trail meanders up in about 15mins from the car.

Another bunch of friendly locals greeted our arrival, and we really hit the jackpot this time, as one of them was Gina Hawryluk, who along with husband Dan put up about half the routes here. It’s an impressive, steep wall, running to around 70ft of solid stratified quartzite, characterised by sharp crimpy holds and layaways.

Gina and Co recommended In Descent, 5.9, as a great warmup, and they weren’t wrong. Prescribed Burn, 10b, and Egg, 11a, were also very good, and I took the bait of “the best (and some say hardest) route on the wall” to have a go at Burnt, 11c. Rather expecting to get “Burnt” off, I was pretty chuffed to make it through the first couple of roofs, but didn’t quite have the conviction to launch for the final jug. Got it second go. Forgot to take any pics of climbers on the main wall, but this one shows the rope hanging down Burnt.

The smaller buttress you reach on arriving at the upper tier (before and to the left of Fire Wall) is The Block, and here’s Helen on Aaron’s Route, 5.8.

Having enjoyed the shade on our arrival, by 2pm we were getting well and truly burned, despite the elevation at around 8,500ft! We lasted another hour or so before escaping over the hill into the Rio Grande valley west of Taos. There are some great BLM campgrounds scattered along the river, which is boarded on either side by basalt crags as far as the eye can see. Sunset from Arroyo Hondo Campground.

About five miles upstream, the road takes a huge hairpin to break through the basalt band and up onto the mesa, giving access to a couple of the developed crags. It’s a bumpy dirt road for the last few miles, but we managed to get this rascal up with a problem.

The path to Dead Cholla Wall is signposted and a 10mins gentle amble across the top of the crag (handy for either setting top ropes or retrieving gear from lower-offs, some of which just have a couple of bolts but no chain / rings) leads to an easy descent at its southern end.

The crag faces due East – usually our favourite orientation for hot weather: gentle morning sun giving way to shade for the heat of the day. We arrived at 10.30am and immediately realised we were way too early – it was already an oven!

We hid in a hole for a couple of hours for the first routes to come into the shade – so much for the coolth at around 7,000ft.

Twisted Feet gets 11a and is a real technical stemming (a.k.a. bridging) puzzle. Corners are my favourite territory but I found it desperate for a warm-up.

Nice, 5.9+, was as described, as was Fun in the Sun, 10a (actually more fun in the shade!) Not to be confused with Fun, 5.7, which was neither (early candidate for sandbag of the trip, not helped by being very sandy – perhaps washoff from recent rains?)

Toxic Socks, 12a and “perhaps the best hard climb at Dead Cholla” is a stunning line, but I’ll need to sharpen up my basalt game for the return match.

Chilly at night under a spectacular star-scape – good excuse for a roaring fire.

Heading north / upstream from the same parking area, the temptingly named Utopian Vistas offers more quality basalt fun (with a higher ratio of pure sports routes rather than the mix of trad and bolts at Dead Cholla). You can see the latter…

… as you head along the rim trail and follow a signposted fork on the right which takes a path just beneath the rim for a few hundred metres, keeping an eye out for a cairned path leading down a drainage line / gully. Here’s the GPS location for the top of the descent N36.3627182, W105.7293739.

The Lower Tier looked to have the better and longer routes, so we headed down following occasional cairns past the obvious Juniper tree. Despite learning our lesson from the previous day, we only just left it late enough to escape the stifling heat, with the first routes coming into the shade around 2pm. Tijerina, 9+, merits it’s 4* status – stiff moves around a roof then an immaculate pockety corner.

The eponymous Utopian Vistas, 5.11, just to the right, is an absolutely stunning line, finding a cunning way through overhanging terrain to gain a fabulous hanging arete.

Further right, on Good Craic Wall, the first couple of 5.9s were OK rather than classic, but Chomping at the Bit, 10c, was an absolute belter. On our way out, Helen did the very leftmost route on the lower tier (now thankfully well in the shade). Writing Down the Bones, 5.7, comes highly recommended.

An encounter with a fury friend on the way out…

… couldn’t detract from the truly Utopian Vistas across the Rio Grande.