Anyone tuning in for news of Bill and Dom’s Excellent Adventures Episode 14 – The Scoop on Strone Ulldale – are in for a disappointment. Storm Lillian had other ideas – 50mph winds and at least an inch of rain every day was simply not going to be conducive to an already potentially harrowing mission. Watch this space for a hoped-for rescheduling once the “Indian Summer” arrives!

Meanwhile, there was a gap in my plans, and they say that nature abhors a vacuum. Luckily, Stan abhors a vacuum too, so we managed to schedule a consolation 3-day hit at short notice. The weather further south, whilst not quite as biblical as the Outer Hebrides, wasn’t particularly promising, with bands of rain sweeping in from the Atlantic at regular intervals. An optimistic reading of the forecast saw us settling off for Croyde, Devon in heavy rain which stopped right on cue to put tents up in the dry before a dash for last orders.

Sure enough, it had perked up nicely by morning…

In our haste to avoid a venue clear from a wetting from above, we hadn’t checked the tides (not that there was much we could have done about it) and high tide was annoyingly close to midday.

Careful ledge hopping required to stay dry at foot of Urizen on The Long Rock at Baggy Point.

Sploshiness confined us to Lost Horizon, Urizen and Twinkletoes to start with – all VSs and all excellent.

As more of the crag emerged, we were joined by more people, with half a dozen teams in action in the end, for some nice buzz and banter.

Here’s a couple of shots of Gordon on Terrapin, E3 and his mate on Undercracker, E1, in the foreground.

Meanwhile, Stan set off on a quest up Slip It In Quick, E3 – slipping it in quickly between the other two routes…

Steady progress through some very thin territory was only slowed upon arrival in the vertical garden towards the top, leaving Stan somewhat wishing he’d heeded the guidebook advice for a spot of gardening before trying the harder routes!

I did Undercracker – thoroughly enjoyable and nicely spicy. Meanwhile here’s a couple of pics of a team on Pickpocket, HVS, with the sun starting to think about setting.

Relaxing over a beer in the surf bar overlooking Croyde beach, our feelings of wellbeing after a productive day were punctured by the first whif of mobile data, bringing news of a cr@pping out of the forecast. Much pondering of forecasts led to setting a 6am alarm call for a three hour dash to Swanage.

Happily, dawn brought a slight improvement and we reverted to Plan A and headed to Lower Sharpnose Point. Impressive and improbable as ever…

Don’t be suckered by the benign looking scene (we were!) – the bottom half of the crag was gopping. I guess that’s what you get from being on the crag by 9, well before the sun arrives, in high humidity conditions…

and an inrushing sea…

The only routes without a wave-washed base were The Smile and Out of the Blue, E2 5b, and we sketched our way up the latter up the line of the ab rope. Strictly speaking that’s game over for around 6 hours until the tide turns, but with a bit of ingenuity we abbed down onto a small ledge near the arete where the routes The Smirk, E1 and Last Laugh, E2, divide. We did both (albeit without the bottom 20ft or so) – both very good. Here’s Stan on The Smirk.

Last Laugh almost had the last laugh as the rain arrived when I was halfway up my lead. Time for a cream tea!

Big rain forecasted to continue through the night giving way to grand beau temps by morning – with nothing else to fill a soggy afternoon we decided to roll the dice and head another hour west to St Agnes in Cornwall, home to the famed and feared Carn Gowla, and the classic Mercury Direct, E2 5b.

Rain continued until midday and we were starting to give up hope. St Agnes Beacon was steadfastly in cloud…

… but the horizon hinted at a late redemption for the day.

There’s a bit of rope shenanigans to get set up for Mercury. A 110m abseil (conveniently split by a re-belay at the first stance of the route, easily reached with a 70m rope with a further 50m to go – 60 and 40 might stretch but don’t rely on it!}

The top out of the final Pitch 2 at the cliff top is a good 50m rope length and there’s not much to belay to. Even with 60s you wouldn’t reach the rocky bluff further up the hillside, so it is recommended to pre-place a rope from which to belay. Here’s the view from the clifftop as to what goes where (to supplement the useful photos in Rockfax)…

and here’s the W3W for the ab point. https://w3w.co/slowness.trickling.award

The crag was dripping after 24hrs of rain, but dried pretty quickly. One minute I was in a belay jacket and the next I was shirtless and sweating as the sunshine finally put in an appearance!

I rapped all the way to the lower belay ledge, but soon reconsidered with spray cascading well above head height. There’s a comfy ledge at around 10m and you’re not missing the meat of the climbing.

Pitch one takes a wide corner crack which opens up into an unhelpful offwidth.

Stan persevered with a modest big cam rack of a BD 3 and a 4 (blue and grey).

A proper “Big Bertha” would probably take the sting out of it. Felt more 5b than 5a.

This brings you to a huge belay ledge from where P2 blasts further up the corner (easier than it looks and tonnes of gear) before you are forced out rightwards onto a well-featured if slightly crumbly face. Steady but bold climbing leads sideways to a red pillar where a couple of stiff moves further right bring the welcome sanctuary of a peg (bomber black Totem backup) from where you can now admire the looping ropes back to the corner and your buddy way below.

Steep and intimidating moves upwards do indeed yield the promised positive holds and then a further traverse brings a straightforward final pull through the roof on holds that wouldn’t feel out of place in Mousetrap Zawn. Top out and tie into the pre-placed rope and you can finally offer a cheery wave to your partner.

Fabulous route! A real voyage and a perfect choice for a slightly early celebration of my Big Birthday.

Even a puncture on the way home, a five hour wait for the AA and a 4am arrival home couldn’t take the shine off a memorable day (but don’t get me started on the benefits of a spare wheel over a canister of ineffective white gloop!)